


rex getting bullied for x amount of chapters

by rooloo



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Prequel Trilogy, Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types
Genre: Crack Fic, During Canon, Fix-It, I WAS GONE FOR SOMETIME BUT IM MAKING A COMEBACK, NEW CHAPTER IN A FEW DAYS!!!, SORRY FOR THE DISAPPEARANCE, THIS IS A WIP, absolutely no clonecest or anisoka, chat fic, i feel like my first two sum it up, i will update when i can, im not good at tags, skip chapter 2- my ao3 was broken lmao, sort of fix it so i’ll tag it, there might be relationships later but it will be very minor, uhhh
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-07
Updated: 2020-08-26
Packaged: 2021-03-05 21:47:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 5,195
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25762363
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rooloo/pseuds/rooloo
Summary: A new feature on data pads/ holo recorders allows the clones and jedi to make group texts. It seems exciting and fun at first but it gets out of hand quickly. very quickly.basically rex is getting bullied the whole time, bly is a savage, fives is annoying everyone, fox is buried to his neck with paperwork, and well yeah. it’s not supposed to be serious, so just come here to have a good time. by ALSO I PROMISE IM STILL UPDATING BUT I CANT FIGURE OUT HOW TO MAKE IT SAY 1/? SO IT SAYS 1/1 BUT ITS NOT OVER I PROMISE (haha i figured it’s out (kinda) but yeah ignore chapter 2)
Comments: 26
Kudos: 69





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> hope you guys enjoy!! i usually write this at like 2:00 AM (it’s actually 1:57 am right now) so if there’s like 1000000 mistakes, please point them out and i’ll go back and edit. thank you so much for giving this disaster a chance! ngl it took me an embarrassingly long time to figure out wtf a skin was and how to make words bold (then again im using mobile, and you don’t know true pain until you use mobile ao3)

**•CC-2224 created “Commander Chat”•**   
**•CC-2224 added CC-3636•**   
**•CC-2224 added CC-1010•**   
**•CC-2224 added CC-5052•**   
**•CC-2224 added CC-411•**

CC-3636: wtf is this

CC-2224: :•D

CC-2224: oh shit i forgot someone

• **CC-2224 added CT-7567** •

CC-2224: okay we’re all good now

CC-1010: whos the CT lmao

**•CT-7567 changed name to rextra-done•**

rextra-done: why am i here

CC-1010: ah it’s skywalkers captain

CC-3636: cody, why did you make this

**•CC-2224 changed name to cody•  
•cody changed CC-3636’s name to woof woof•  
•CC-1010 changed name to palpatines poodle•**

woof woof: why don’t you bully anyone else

cody: well for one, fox goes through too much. and second, you’re an easy target.

woof woof: fuck you❤️

**•CC-411 is active•**

palpatines poodle: thank the force, ponds is here

CC-411: how do you guys have time for a group chat???? we’re fighting a war???

palpatines poodle: ha, not all of us.

cody: fox is fighting a war with his paperwork

rextra-done: i feel you, my general never does his, so it goes to me

**CC-411 changed name to puddle**

puddle: is keeli on this?

cody: no

puddle: can i add him?

woof woof: no

puddle: why?

palpatines poodle: no

puddle: ._.

**•CC-5052 is active•**

CC-5052: hi guys:)

woof woof: hey

cody: hello

palpatines poodle: you’re finally here

puddle: good to see you bly!

rextra-done: sup

CC-5052: whos “rextra-done”

rextra-done: srsly?? :’( we’ve been on missions together

CC-5052: oh uh… sorry?

cody: BAHAHAH

palpatines poodle: wow that’s rough buddy

CC-5052: what? you expect me to remember every CT i run into?

cody: ohhh shitttt bly is coming after rex

woof woof: in case you forgot bly, rex is the bleached head one in the 501st

rextra-done: MY HAIR ISNT BLEACHED

woof woof: yeah, cause the rest of us just dye our hair black

rextra-done: I SWEAR I DONT DYE IT

rextra-done: CODY YOU KNOW! TELL THEM

cody: he definitely dyes it guys

rextra-done: YOU TRAITOR

puddles: lmao rex is a bottle blond

palpatines poodle: jfc kid, how much bleach do you own??

rextra-done: i. don’t. dye. it.

CC-5052: i don’t think you dye it

rextra-done: thank you bly

CC-5052: you bleach it

rextra-done: >:’((((((

**•CC-5052 changed rextra-done’s name to fake blond•**

fake blond: if you guys don’t stop bullying me im gonna add one of my ARC’s to the chat

cody: which one?

fake blond: fives.

woof woof: okay yeah i’m gonna stop

palpatines poodle: im not risking that

puddles: definitely not worth it

cody: yeah i’ll tap out

CC-5052: i’ve never met him, but i’ll take your word for it.

fake blond: damn, cant wait to show this to fives to prove to him that he’s not as likable as he thinks

**•CC-5052 changed name to blynd•  
•fake blond changed blynd’s name to ticket face•  
•ticket face is offline•**

fake blond: gottem

woof woof: 👁 👁  
🎫 👃🏽 🎫  
👄

**•ARC-27-5555 created 💪🏻501št ćhæt👅•**   
**•ARC-27-5555 added ARC-21-0408•**   
**•ARC-27-5555 changed name to kriffing-hells•**   
**•ARC-21-0408 changed name to echo (echo)•**

kriffing-hells: echo can u like code this so it adds everyone for me

kriffing-hells: i don’t want to have to add everyone in torrent

echo (echo): yeah i’ll try

**•CT-5597 was added•**   
**•CT-6116 was added•**   
**•CT-9415 was added•**   
**•CT-5385 was added•**   
**•CT-9512 was added•**   
**•CT-4343 was added•**   
**•CT-4964 was added•**   
**•CT- 3629 was added•**   
**•CT-7143 was added•**   
**•CT-2478 was added•**   
**•Anakin Skywalker was added•**   
**•Ahsoka Tano was added•**

kriffing-hells: wow that was a lot of people

CT-9415: a group chat??? awesome

CT-5597: can everyone change their names? idk anyone’s CT numbers

CT-9512: are we even allowed to have group texts?

CT-5597: nvm, that ones dogma

**•CT-5597 changed name to protein bagel•**   
**•CT-6116 changed name to corn pops•**   
**•CT-9415 changed name to caseity case•**   
**•CT-5385 changed name to tupperware•**   
**•CT-9512 changed name to dogma•**   
**•CT-4343 changed name to c o r i c•**   
**•CT-4964 changed name to ratty attie•**   
**•CT- 3629 changed name to farmer and the del•**   
**•CT-7143 changed name to ~nax~•**   
**•CT-2478 changed name to *zeer*•**   
**•Ahsoka Tano changed Anakin Skywalker’s name to sandakin•**   
**•Ahsoka Tano changed name to lil soka•**   
**•sandakin changed lil soka’s name to snips•**

farmer and the del: who made this???

corn pops: probably fives or echo

protein bagel: definitely fives

tupperware: it was both actually, i watched them do it

kriffing-hells: thanks for throwing me under the bus rapunzel

tupperware: no problem

echo (echo): wait a second, don’t blame me, all i did was help him add all of you guys.

c o r i c: that makes it even more your fault??

echo (echo): what?? how???

snips: cause you added everyone

echo (echo): but fives told me to!!

kriffing-hells: yeah but you didn’t have to do it

echo (echo): who’s side are you on???

~nax~: hey quick question, why is the captain not on this group chat?

echo (echo): oh shit

*zeer*: lmaooo he's gonna kick ur ass

sandakin: wait don’t add him yet

snips: why??

sandakin: i have some tea ☕️

snips: ?

kriffing-hells: ooo i love rumors about rex

echo (echo): you love rumors about everyone

ratty attie: general? we’re all waiting for the gossip

caseity case: whats this i hear about rex? hot gossip?

sandakin: okay so commander cody told obi wan about how they have a “commander” group chat, and rex was added to it, and there’s this big debate going on if rex bleaches his hair or not. according to cody -or according to obi wan i guess- he’s being bullied by all the CC’s and i thought it would be funny if we brought the conversation over to this group chat.

protein bagels: that’s a great plan general

snips: one of your best

dogma: we shouldn’t do that. he’s our superior officer not our batchmate.

**•tupperware removed dogma•**

  
corn pops: …

*zeer*: omfg tup-

kriffing-hells: LMAOOO

protein bagel: nice one

farmer and the del: damn kid you got some guts

echo (echo): because he stopped texting, i think it’s safe to assume that tup is getting his ear chewed off by dogma

sandakin: okay everyone shut up im adding rex

**•sandakin added CT-7567•**

CT-7567: not another one 😒

**•CT-7567 changed name to captain cant-stand-this•**

sandakin: so i heard you dye your hair

captain can’t-stand-this: you’ve gotta be kriffing kidding me

captain can’t-stand-this: there’s no way

kriffing-hells: so? is it true?

captain can’t-stand-this: ughhhh

captain can’t-stand-this: no. it is not true. i do not dye my hair, i have a genetic mutation much like how some clones have blue eyes.

caseity case: so what you’re saying is, you don’t dye your hair

captain can’t-stand-this: yes, i do not dye- or bleach- my hair.

caseity case: so your eyebrows would be naturally platinum blond

captain can’t-stand-this: …

ratty attie: OMFG CAPTAIN REX DYES HIS EYEBROWS

sandakin: that’s even better than him bleaching his hair

snips: someone needs to find rexs dye stash, i want to see eyebrowless captain rex

kriffing-hells: echo and i are on it

**•kriffing-hells is offline•**

**•echo (echo) is offline•**

captain can’t-stand-this: nO YOU'RE KRIFFING NOT

captain can’t-stand-this: I'LL GIVE YOU A DEMERIT

captain can’t-stand-this: fuck you guys

**•~nax~ changed captain can’t-stand-this’s name to captain eybrowless•**

captain eyebrowless: i’m going to desert the GAR and none of you can stop me

protein bagel: your lack of eyebrows might stop you

captain eyebrowless: everyone involved in this is getting sanitation duty for the rest of the war

sandakin: sorry rex, but only people with eyebrows can give orders

snips: guess we’ll be promoting echo to captain

**•kriffing_hells is online•**

kriffing-hells: hey!>:(

**•kriffing-hells is offline•**

captain eyebrowless: fuck all of you

**•captain eyebrowless is offline•**

ratty attie: _attachment_holorec.450 (rex chasing fives at an almost record high speed while fives is screaming and laughing, holding his “eyebrow dye”)_

*zeer*: i could hear fives screaming from the barracks.

corn pops: i’m pretty sure general kenobi could hear it from the negotiator

snips: the chancellor could hear it on coruscant

c o r i c: the seppies found us because he was so loud

sandakin: fives was so loud alderaan exploded

caseity case: HAHAHHA

protein bagel: lmao nice one general


	2. ignore this chapter, i just need aO3 to recognize that i AM STILL CONTINUING THIS FIC

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I AM STILL UPDATING THIS FIC

THIS FIC IS STILL BEING UPDATED PLEASE LET ME SAY THAT AO3 (im sorry to disappoint that this isn’t a real chapter:( but i need this to say its not completed)

HAVE A GREAT DAY :D

also if you want more of a character, or have any plot ideas, or want another character to be in it, just comment and chances are, i’ll put them in/do your idea. i’ll also tag you if you gave me a chapter (if u want) thank you guys so much<3


	3. respect for the less mainstream clones

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> i feel bad for the clone commanders that weren't on the commander chat (also the afterlife has its own chat room)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hope y’all enjoy this one (its 3:28 am rn) so yeah another late night one i guess:)
> 
> also protein-bagel is jesse (in case u didn’t know) and i feel like i need to explain okay? okay so i named him that cause he seems like the person who would eat a whole sandwich for breakfast and then call it a “protein bagel” so yeah idk

**•woof woof is active•  
**

woof woof: _gUYSSS_

cody: what

palpatines poodle: texting in all caps makes my head hurt

woof woof: yeah ill try and remember that next time -_-

ticket face: what was your news wolffe?

woof woof: oh yeah

woof woof: _pLO CALLED ME SON :’)_

**•palpatines poodle is offline•**

**•woof woof changed name to plos first born•**

plos first born: hey >:(

cody: wait why is that so important?

plos first born: r u kidding??

ticket face: why would you want him to call you that exactly?

plos first born: well what else would you want your general to call you

ticket face: ... ha

cody: well you see,,,

plos first born: omfg you guys are sick

**•fake blond is online•**

cody: hahaha look who had the guts to show up

ticket face: i actually heard a more compelling rumor from the 501st

plos first born: which would be?

ticket face: rex dyes his eyebrows

**•fake blond is offline•**

**cooler commanders chat has been opened by gree-nbean**

gree-nbean: ugh, i cant believe they actually made a group chat without us

thorn in my side: how did you find out again?

gree-nbean: i was on a campaign with keeli and ponds when it was created. and well, ponds isn’t good at hiding things.

keeli-me-now: yeah and then we read all the messages. lmao they did a number on that poor 501st captain

knee-you: wait they added a CT but not the other CC’s??

thorn-in-my-side: apparently so

knee-you: damn that hurts

thorn-in-my-side: hey, my best friend was added and not me:/

formed-a-colt: ughhh i understand why you guys weren’t added (aside from thorn) but why wasn’t i??

bacararara: wait what makes us so different from them?

formed-a-colt: well they work with generals plo, skywalker, and kenobi. they’re literally the faces of the war.

knee-you: but what about fox???

filled-up: okay fox makes no sense.

thorn-in-my-side: well to be fair, we’re missing a few commanders still.

gree-nbean: what?? who??

thorn-in-my-side: well for starters stone and thire.

bacararara: we’re also missing blitz and havoc

gree-nbean: ughhhhhhh can someone add them?

keeli-me-now: im too lazy

filled-up: uhh

knee-you: ...

bacararara: you guys are insufferable

**•matchstick and tag created afterlife chat•  
**

matchstick: i shouldn’t have left the fight like that, i’m the reason you’re dead

tag: ah don’t beat yourself up about it, you didn’t have control over those seppies.

matchstick: but maybe if i got my y-wing in control in time...

tag: hey vod, i said i would stay with you through this war. that includes through death. let’s be thankful we didn’t crash into anyone else.

matchstick: i didn’t think i’d leave broadside like this, but we had noble deaths. it’s one hell of a life fighting for the republic.

tag: the other pilots will be proud.

**•droidbitch is online•  
** **•1 mil pounds is online•  
** **•fuck-up is online•**

**•nuub is online•  
  
**

1 mil pounds: wassup fuckers

tag: hey hevy

matchstick: do you guys travel in a pack? jfc i feel like you all join at the same time

fuck-up: lmao yeah we do

1 mil pounds: that’s how we role in domino minus two plus one

nuub: just call us rishi rats

droidbitch: :0 that’s smart

fuck-up: rats? the only rat here is tag

tag: wtf did i do you you???

1 mil pounds: speaking of domino, i heard that fuck ass and baby were nominated for ARC training

matchstick: ???

nuub: who is that exactly?

fuck-up: pretty sure it’s fives and echo

droidbitch: in that order

nuub: ah that makes sense

**•commander fil has joined the chat•**

matchstick: ...

tag: welcome to the afterlife brother

1 mil pounds: ah damn, he ruined the vibe

droidbitch: don’t listen to hevy fil

commander fil: wait... i died

fuck-up: i’d assume so...?

commander fil: so... why am i in another group chat.

tag: hell if we know

droidbitch: it’s a vibe in here tho

commander fil: so is this how it’s gonna be for us?

fuck-up: yup

1 mil pounds: you bet

matchstick: as the longest in here, you get used to it pretty quick

commander fil: ...thanks

matchstick: no problem

1 mil pounds: i’m gonna go scare the shit out of fives anyone want to come?

droidbitch: bet

fuck-up: i’m in

tag: i’ll go

1 mil pounds: ooo tag! that’s new

commander fil: wait what are you doing?

droidbitch: well we’re kinda in spectator mode now, but with extra perks (like haunting) 

1 mil pounds: yeah

commander fil: oh cool

fuck up: come onnnn guysss he’s not gonna be in mess for much longer

1 mil pounds: okay fine whiny pants were going

**•1 mil pounds is offline•**

**•fuck-up is offline•  
•droidbitch is offline•  
•tag is offline•  
  
**

**💪🏻501št ćhæt👅**

kriffing-hells: oMFG I SWEAR MY ARMOR IS HAUNTED OR SOMETHING

echo (echo): _attachment_holorec.678 (fives’ bucket getting lifted off the table by “ghosts” in the mess hall)_ just in case you weren’t in mess^

caseity-case: _attachment_holorec.356 (fives kicking his bucket as hard as he can, sending it flying across the room and smashing into the wall right next to atties head)_

protein-bagel: _attachment_holorec.583 (zeer getting out of his seat and storming over to fives, yelling at him for almost hurting attie, fives is terrified, echo is trying to hold in his laughter)_

kriffing-hells: _**DELETE THAT FOOTAGE**_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this ones kinda short sorry i went on tiktok for inspiration and when i came back like half my work was deleted and yeah D: but i think i’m gonna update the “afterlife chat” according to canon deaths (sorry) so nobody is safe from me >:) but it’s juts a way to know time period n stuff. hope you enjoyed!!!!!!!!! i’m really happy how this is turning out:) hope you are too!!


	4. general chat...? also some scheming😳

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> okay slight blyla and codywan (sorry if u don’t ship, but i promise it’s like just jokes or wtv theres no plot for those relationships) have a fun time reading and a great night/day/sleep/morning wtv time it is for you <3love y’all

**•General Kenobi created General chat•  
** **•General Kenobi added General Skywalker•  
** **•General Skywalker added Commander Tano•  
•General Kenobi added General Secura•  
•General Kenobi added General Koon•  
** **  
**

General Kenobi: hello there

General Skywalker: sup

General Secura: whats the purpose of this exactly? I heard the commanders had one but why us?

Commander Tano: the 501 has one toooooo :D

General Koon: ah yes i heard wolffe talking to boost about Skywalkers captain.

General Kenobi: idk why i made this, i just felt like we needed a way to stay in touch.

Commander tano: wait if this is a “general chat” then why am i on it..??

General Skywalker: because, snips, i wanted a real friend on this group chat<3

General kenobi: -_-

General koon: yes, i agree we are not really friends. more of colleagues.

General Skywalker: see? plo gets it. plus since we’re more like brothers, i can’t be friends with you.

General kenobi: wait why can’t you be friends with your brother??

General Secura: it’s an unspoken rule.

Commander tano: smh obi wan, you’re too old

**•General Skywalker changed General Kenobi’s name to old man•**

old man: you do realize that plo is older than me right?

Commander tano: yes, but he doesn’t aCt like an old man

General Secura: she has a point, but training anakin will do that to you.

General skywalker: hey! :’(

**•General Secura is offline•**

Commander tano: ...

General Koon: that was strange

General Skywalker: she probably got “distracted” by her commander ;)

old man: that reminds me...

**•old man is offline•**

General skywalker: WTF

Commander snips: omfg i-

General koon: that was... also very strange.

General skywalker: 😭💀why did i have to witness this, force save me🙏🏻😰

**•i_probably_outrankyousoshutup is online•  
**

i_probably_outrankyousoshutup: okay so since the 212th is here, i think it’s only fitting that we throw a slumber party on the resolute.

captains_fave: wtf??¿ what made you think that’s a good idea

jess is a mess: ^^yeah srsly¿

suit_case: wait that’s a great idea tho,,

i_probably_outrankyousoshutup: see? case gets it. but one minor problem, where would we hold it?

fives-dontshavemyhead: the docking bay? it’s pretty big, and we could just sleep on the floor. 

suit_case: or the mess, tables could be beds.

captains_fave: wait guys,, wth are you doing. i don’t want to sound like dogma but @ the captain for his permission first.

f-attie: @reassign_me_please

thats-straight-nax: ...

**•reassign_me_please is online•  
**

reassign_me_please: no.

i_probably_outrankyousoshutup: no to what exactly?

reassign_me_please: we’re not having a slumber party. especially if cody’s gonna be there

jess is a mess: wait whats up with u and cody??

kidslike_kix_forwhat_kix_hasgot: he’s scared to get bullied in front of all his men

captains_fave: well, we don’t have to invite cody.

fives-dontshavemyhead: wow, great idea echo, and then when all of ghost company is missing from his ship, what do you think will happen?

captains_fave: i remember when you used to be shy>:(

please_reassign_me: the only way u would ever let a slumber party happen is if the general allowed it, so if you guys get his blessing, then you’re free to have fun.

jess is a mess: @im_not_fucking_padme

i_probably_outrankyousoshutup: he definitely is tho, and i’m taking that with me to the grave.

**•im_not_fucking_padme is online•  
**

suit_case: so?

im_not_fucking_padme: omFg yeS

kidslike_kix_forwhat_kix_hasgot: wait are you serious general?

im_not_fucking_padme: yea?? btw rex, don’t worry, cody will b to distracted by kenobi to bully you;)

please_reassign_me: aye wtf does that mean?????

tano_the_tank: hA omgg send the screenshot master

im_not_fucking_padme: i dont have it

tano_the_tank: oh okay

tano_the_tank: _attachment_screenshot.240 (it’s a *leaked* conversation from kenobi and cody’s personal chat)_

jess the mess: no💞

i_probably_outrankyousoshutup: okay but who told you we wanted to see that

fives-dontshavemyhead: my innocence: 👋🏻👉🏻🙅🏾‍♂️

captains_fave: u good rex? you’ve been typing for awhile now...

please_reassign_me: i am disgusted, i am revolted, i dedicated my entire life to our army and men of the republic and this is the thanks i get?

im_not_fucking_padme: LMAOOO y’all too sensitive

tano_the_tank: you’re acting like you didn’t wash your eyes with bleach and then cry in the ‘fresher for 30 minutes after seeing it

kidslike_kix_forwhat_kix_hasgot: oop- tanos not playing games -also if u did wash your eyes with bleach i need to have a talk with you-

im_not_fucking_padme: ... heh

kidslike_kix_forwhat_kix_hasgot: omfg y’all are all stupid, i’m gonna quit my job as a medic. @asamedicioutrankallofyou, this is your job now

asamedicioutrankallofyou: wait no. you’re the one who’s supposed to be the generals medic, not me.

kidslike_kix_forwhat_kix_hasgot: 🤯🖕🏽

i_probably_outrankallofyousoshutup: okay!!!!! back to the slUmber party~

Echo looks up from his bunk to stare his brother dead in the eyes. Fives is typing at inhuman speeds- probably arguing with someone about the so called “slumber party”. Fives sighs then looks up. He jumps when he notices his batch mates intense stare. 

“Force, Echo! You scared me- why are you staring at me like that?” He questions, sending Echo a confused face. 

Echo sighs, heavier than fives previous sigh- he had to make sure fives could hear it to the full extent. “There’s no way you’ll be able to pull the party off. And when it flops, everyone will blame you.” Fives looks offended. Echo just returns a pointed look. “I just don’t want a ship full of disappointed brothers.” Fives ponders his remark for a moment.

”Well, i can assure you that they won’t be disappointed.” Fives looks confident. More than normal. “I even bet a cleaning shift on it. The party flops, I’ll take your next shift, but if the party is a compete success, then you take mine.” Now it’s Echos turn to ponder this. 

“Okay, you have yourself a deal.” Echo responds after pausing for a beat. Fives smiles smugly for a moment, then gets up and starts to head out of the barracks. He turns around before he reaches the door though.

”Better get your cleaning supplies ready vod, cause this party’s gonna be hotter than mustafar.” He offers one more arrogant smile, then strides out the doorway.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay so next chapter will be the actual sleepover, i’ll write some tonight but i’ll probably get it up tmrw<3 thanks for reading!!!


	5. drunken shenanigans and my lazy ass

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fives probably should’ve picked better people to be out on the baking crew
> 
> also i finished this one at 5:39 am💪🏻😐 imsotired

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i’ve been putting this off for f o r e v e r and im very sorry lol. I don’t really have any excuses.... but yeah hope u enjoy!!

“What do you think about a karaoke machine?” Fives yells over the blaster fire and distant explosions. He leans over the rock he’s behind to shoot a few more clankas down, then turns to look at Rex, tilting his head in question. Rex throws his droid popper then looks at his trooper. 

“I think you should focus on the-” he pauses to reload his blaster and take a few more droids down. “situation at hand.” The captain finishes. Fives grumbles something that sounds like “fun sponge”. Rex rolls his eyes then drags himself out of cover to get to the droidekas approaching. He slides, giving himself the right amount of momentum to push the popper underneath the first one and then manage to get it under the second one too. All while narrowly avoiding blaster fire. And somehow, everyone still bullies him. Maybe he’s not intimidating enough. Rex sighs, well at least the shinies are scared of him. For now. 

“Great going Rex-o! You gotta teach me that one!” Ahsoka says, patting his plated shoulder. Rex smiles in response. Then he remembered he was wearing his helmet.

“Anytime, kid.” He responds. Then turns away for a moment to check how his men are doing. Fives is in a deep conversation with what looks like Jesse, but he can’t really tell. When Rex approaches they immediately stop talking, and Fives smiles innocently at his superior. “Do I even want to know?” Jesse looks at him guiltily-it was Jesse.

“Well…” the trooper responds, looking at the ARC for support.

“Nope.” Fives responds, popping the p. Rex shakes his head as Fives takes his helmet off to smack it on Rexs bucket. A kind of post battle thing Fives has been doing to everyone. (Echo had told him it was just to see who would get the most annoyed first, so Rex tried his best to remain neutral when he was bonked.) Echo seemed to have good info, because The ARC looked slightly annoyed to see Rex had no reaction. But his scowl was quickly replaced by slight panic, as if he forgot something extremely important. He then bonked Rex one more time, and sped off. 

“You know, I’ve always wondered what made him pick stripes.” Rex turned to see who made the comment. It was one of the Teth survivors, Zeer. Rex almost laughed out loud at the remark. (he had often wondered the same, it wasn’t a very good look if he was being honest) He instead resorted to a chuckle.

“Well he told me that it was because he “likes stripes.” Jesse responds. “I never saw his pre-ARC armor but according to him there was a huge barcode on his thigh. Which again, is because he likes stripes.” Zeer shakes his head.

“There  _ has  _ to be a deeper meaning than that! He decks himself out in the most hideous design possible and claims he only did it cause he  _ likes it _ ?” Zeer laughs at the thought. This makes Rex think for a second. Was there really a secret meaning behind the obsession with the design? 

“Maybe you’ll get the real answer out of Echo- he seems to have all the dirt of Fives. And he’s usually willing to spill.” Jesse adds in. 

***

Fives jogs away from his captain and fellow trooper, slightly annoyed that he didn’t get a rise out of his Captain. He quickly found his ARC trooper brother, and engaged. 

“Echo!” Echo half turns, acknowledging Fives. “Hey so, I know you said all that stuff about ‘not wanting to help me blah blah blah’ but like, I need help with planning and-” Echo puts a hand up, silencing Fives. He stands there impatiently while he waits for Echo to finish his conversation with one of the platoon leaders. After about 45 seconds, Echo finishes and turns fully to Fives, signaling for him to continue. “Okay so… are you going to?”

“...going to what?” Fives rolls his eyes so hard, he might actually become a worthy opponent to Wolffe. 

“Weren’t you listening before?” Fives asks, slightly annoyed. 

“Oh. Help you?” He waits for his brother's confirmation before continuing. He doesn’t continue immediately though, he thinks for a second, considering the offer. “Maybe. Depends what you need help with exactly.”

“Great! I can't really figure out what activities everyone wants to do ‘cause Rex has been ignoring me all day, Jesse just keeps telling me to buy alcohol, and yeah that’s everyone I’ve talked to.” Echo shakes his head. 

“Wow, looks like you’ve done everything you can.” He responds sarcastically. Although, fives still nods in agreement. Echo sighs. He wonders what his sigh counter is up to today. Probably high 20s. Rex’s is probably higher though. “Well I don’t know! I’m  _ one person. _ I have no idea what everyone else wants to do. Maybe if you had  _ actually  _ asked around we would have some ideas.” Fives purses his lips in response. 

“Go  _ off  _ sis!” A voice behind Echo says. He turns to see Kix walking toward him. “Yeah, Fives, you never asked  _ me _ what  _ I  _ wanted to do.” 

“Okay fine. What do  _ you _ want to do Kix?” Fives asks mockingly. Kix smiles at him.

“Well, since you asked, I think it would be a good idea to invest in a big holoprojector.” Fives gives him a confused look. “To watch holovids and stuff.” The medic elaborates.

“That’s actually a really good idea. Thanks Kix!” Fives responds, backpedaling towards his previous group. He loosely salutes before turning and walking the way back. Echo chuckles. 

“I’m surprised he admitted that someone besides him had a good idea.” Kix snorts then pulls echo a little closer. 

“Be sure to tell Fives that if any trooper is injured as a result of this  _ slumber party,  _ I will find a way to make sure the rest of his life is as miserable as possible.” Echo widens his eyes in shock. 

“Uh… right of course…” He trails off, realizing Kix already walked away. Echo clears his throat and rolls his neck. He’s a little worried for Fives. He knows an empty threat when he hears one, and this one showed no trace of emptiness. 

***

“I think this should be good.” Ahsoka pauses a moment to go over numbers in her head. “Yeah, this seems like enough.” She confirms, trying to hide her excitement for this event. She’s checking the numbers for the party hats to make sure everyone gets one. She smiles widely at Tup, leaking some of her excitement into it. He smiles just as enthusiastically in response. Tup and Ahsoka had been put on ‘double checking duty’ according to Fives, so they were, well, double checking things. Fives was doing most of the prep work, but when it came to anything including mathematics, he handed it over to anyone he could. 

“I think we should probably check on the baking crew.” Tup says after hearing a few crashes from the kitchen. They were in the empty mess hall, so it may have echoed, making it sound louder then it was, but it was worth a check. They wandered into the slightly cramped kitchen, and were fairly caught off guard. Hardcase was crumpled on the ground, Kix patting his back comfortingly. Jesse was laughing hysterically while holding a bottle of some sort of alcoholic beverage. Dogma was glaring daggers at him from the single chair near the ovens.

Ahsoka cleared her throat after realizing Tup wasn’t going to start. All the troopers looked up at her, except Case who was still staring down at the floor. Dogma was the first to acknowledge, snapping to a stiff salute. Ahsoka waved her hand at him, signaling “at ease”. Tup started talking then.

“What exactly… happened here?” he asks, staring mostly at Hardcase. Kix looks anywhere but at his brother. Jesse slaps the counter, making Ahsoka jump. She could see he was in another fit of hysterical laughter, but he seemed to just be wheezing. A stark contrast to his loud bellowing laugh she heard when they first stepped in. Ahsoka returned her gaze back to Kix and Hardcase. Kix patted him on the back one more time before getting up and looking towards Tup and his Commander.

“Well, I’ll sum it up for you, but basically what happened was Case here ate the whole bag of chocolate chips- after Jesse had convinced us all to-” he was cut off by Dogma clearing his throat rather loudly. “after Jesse had convinced  _ almost _ all of us to drink some of his ‘special mixture’. So Hardcase and Jesse got dead drunk, and after Hardcase saw that he ate all the chocolate chips, he just… collapsed and started crying. So I comforted him.” Kix looks back down at his brother.

“Was that the loud crash? Case falling to the floor?” Kix nodded. “Makes sense I guess.” Tup finishes. 

“You guys should probably… uh, finish baking before Rex or Echo walk in.” Ahsoka adds. She doesn’t want anyone to be in ‘time-out’ for the slumber party. Kix nods slightly. 

“Thanks, Commander!” Jesse says. She can see the tear stains on his face from laughing so hard. It actually seems a lot quieter without the background laughing. 

“Anyway… We’ll just, uh, leave you to it.” Tup says awkwardly, staring at Dogma. Dogma looks pissed at him. Tup diverts his gaze with a cough, and nods his head toward the door, leading himself and Ahsoka out of the mess of a kitchen. Ahsoka feels bad for the next person on kitchen duty. Tup sighs heavily. “I thought this stupid slumber party would be simpler than this.” he says, almost defeated. Ahsoka scoffs.

“Even I know not to think anything Fives does is going to be simple.” Ahsoka smiles at him. “We should probably go ask Fives what our next job is.” Tup groans. 

“Why can’t we just have a break?” He complains. Ahsoka pats him on the shoulder. 

“It’ll be worth it at the end.” She says, hoping her trust in Fives isn’t misplaced. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im sorryyyy im pretty sure i said this was gonna b the slumber party chapter, but i had a lot of fun writing the set up, and i didn’t want to write anymore tonight. and this was long enough to be one chapter sooooo.....


	6. im sorryyyyyyy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> okay so this is just a little update on my schedule (again i’m soooo sorrryyyy)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so uh, as most of you know, school started again (ugh) so that’s taking up a lot of my time currently.

**•puddles is online•**

**puddles:** would you eat human flesh?

**plos first born:** absolutely.

• **puddles is offline•**

i just wanted to give y’all a conversation i thought would b funny so yeah. now for the bad news.

school is online right now for me, and that really blocks up my schedule, but i’m planning to write on weekends and when i have free time. also at the moment, i have a lot of free time because ~school was cancelled~ for the rest of this week. but here’s the bad news about school being out: the reason i have school out is because i live in ~houston~ and my good friend ~hurricane laura~ is making landfall on wednesday night. it’s expected to have really high winds (50+mph) and chances are, my power will go out. so i will try to get the chapter up before then, but if i don’t im very sorry. 

also please don’t get mad, i’m trying my best:( and i’m really stressed about laura cause of harvey and ike, which were both extremely catastrophic. so if my writing seems sloppy, that’s probably why. i’ll try to go back and edit all the stress rambling out tho. 

THANK YOU SO MUCH TO EVERYONE WHOS READ THIS! IT MEANS SO MUCH TO ME:’)we reached 400:D yay!!!

also my birthday may or may not b on the 31st (totally nOt telling y’all so i can get more happy birthdays....hah😼)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im hoping to get the slumber party chapter up soon!! please don’t stop reading!!

**Author's Note:**

> hope u enjoyed this chapter! if you have any recommendations for new chapters or other characters/relationships pleaseeeee tell me. im not good at ideas. thanks so much! if u have questions you’re free to ask:) also the teth survivors numbers are made up (oops) i literally could only find corics number and i spent like 49 years on the clone wiki. also hardcase and dogma have made up numbers as well (i think- i don’t remember tbh)


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